three ways to keep peace in the dormitory
Li Xiongfeng and his roommates had all fallen asleepin the quiet night. But then his phone suddenly started ringing loudly and wokeeverybody up. One of his roommates was annoyed and Li was not happy about thedisturbance either.
“Ididn’texpect such a trivial matter could sour my relationship with my roommates,”said Li, 20, a sophomore law major at South China Normal University.
Last week, Fudan University issued a statementregarding the preliminary police report on the poisoning of a student by hisroommate that shocked the nation.
“Trivialmatters in daily life” were blamed for the tragedy, inwhich 27-year-old Huang Yang was killed.
According to experts, it’sthe small things that can cause serious problems for dormitory relations. Astheir first lesson at college, students should learn to compromise when livingwith their peers and be tolerant toward them.
Dormitory relations are among the top concerns forstudents who enjoyed being the focal point of their family in high school. Only43 percent of college students in Wuhan, which has more than 1 million collegestudents, are happy with their dormitory relations, according to a report byWuhan Yangtze Business University released in January.
“Thiscommunal way of living is new to students, the majority of whom are singlechildren. Many of them expect people to change for them, not the other wayaround,”said Tan Mali, deputy Party secretary at South China Normal University.
For many students, respectingother’s property and personal space is the foundation tomaintain peace in the dormitory.
It can be fixed
Liao Fei, 22, a senior majoring in biology at PekingUniversity, believes that in a shared space, all roommates should help inkeeping the room tidy instead of placing the burden on just one while theothers do whatever they want.
“Everyonehates dirty places. If you make a mess, don’tleave it for someone else to clean up. Make sure you do your fair share ofdormitory chores, such as taking out the trash and recycling, and cleaning thewashroom,”said Liao.
No matter what, conflicts areinevitable when living with others for four years. But a conflict isn’t the end of the world. Aserious talk or even just a joke can fix the problem.
Luo Lisha, 22, a senior majoring in journalism at theCommunication University of China, had an argument with her roommate a whileago.
Instead of burying her feelings, Luo talked with herroommate and they’vebeen getting along well ever since.
“Beingfrank and letting everyone speak their mind is a great way to let off steam,”said Luo.
According to Sun Jianmin, dean of the PsychologyDepartment at Renmin University, learning to compromise around others is one ofthe most important lessons in life.
“Doesit really matter if someone’s cup was not rinsed out or iftheir computer was left on all night? If it bothers you a lot then bring it up,but if it’sa small thing - just let it go,” said Sun.
“It’s tempting to vent your frustration on others whenthings start to annoy you. But it’sbetter to talk about it with others in a way they can accept. Being obsessedwith insignificant things only creates more problems.”